Life Without Bethlehem

I left Bethlehem at the end of February and I’ve thought of nothing but that place since then.  I miss it.  I don’t know how else to say it.  I miss my home.  I miss my friends.  I miss my students.  I miss teaching.  I miss being happy.  I miss it all.

School starts in a couple of days and I don’t get to be there and it’s killing me.  It’s killing me that I messed up the best thing that had ever happened to me.

I blamed God for a long time but I can’t blame Him anymore.  He did what I had promised myself I would do many years before.  And now I’m left without my dream – because of my choices, not God’s.

I miss my life.  Life without Bethlehem is not a life I like at all.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by GuitPicken61 on August 20, 2010 at 8:24 am

    Maybe this is a better question to ask privately, but HOW did you mess it up? Didn’t you leave to come care for your mother? ~Laura

    Reply

  2. Posted by ldw on August 20, 2010 at 8:41 am

    I did leave to take care of my mother, but that meant leaving behind the job and people I love. Now I have to find a new way to go back (easier said than done) and I want that to happen NOW … but it isn’t. Sometimes I think I messed up by leaving because it meant not being able to return again … it’s an emotionally-filled, difficult-any-way-you-slice-it situation that had no real “win-win” outcome for me. But it isn’t God’s fault! And that’s the point I was trying to make. He gave me free will and a heart and mind for making decisions. He gave me a passion and a love and loyalty to those things. And He gave me His guidance and support. I need to stop blaming God for this and start living in what I have and working on finding ways to return. Does that make sense?!

    Reply

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